by jimwalton » Sun Nov 10, 2013 2:57 pm
First of all, though Jesus' prayer in Matthew 6 is a response to a direction question of, "Lord, teach us to pray," there are many places in Scripture that teach us how to pray. The text right before this one (Mt. 6.1-8) is one of them. John 17 is one. Daniel 9.4-19 is a great one, as are Paul's prayers in Ephesians 1.17-23, Philippians 1.9-11, and so many more. There are SO many more. The whole book of Psalms qualifies also. They ALL teach us how to pray, and give us our lessons in how to do it and what is expected.
First of all, what prayer is. It's talking with God way more than it's asking for things. Prayer is more like the conversations over dinner and on the couch in the evenings with a friend than it is making up a Christmas list. But in the conversation, it's a focus on the other person—what they feel and think, and diving into the depths of their being—rather than a thinking about what you're going to say next. God's holiness emphasizes that He should be given the unique reference that his holiness demands, so this relationship exists in the right sphere. It's an attitude of acknowledgement that all that really matters is his will and his kingdom. It's submitting the rule of our hearts to him, and we learn to see all value in terms of his kingdom. Prayer is mostly getting your head and heart in the right places, honoring the right things, seeking the right things, having the right relationship.
What about posture? Jews often stood to pray (Lk. 18.11) and at times lifted their eyes to heaven (Mt. 14.19). Sometimes they collapsed to the floor, face down (Lk. 18.13). Daniel knelt at his window, facing Jerusalem (Dan. 6.10). What I think we learn from this is that your position should reflect your prayer. If it fits what you're doing to stand and look to heaven, then stand. If on your knees reflects what you are praying, or if on your face, then do it. Sometimes I even walk while I pray. Sometimes I pray in my mind, and sometimes I speak it out loud, even while I'm walking (I must look like quite the weirdo to anyone watching me!).
What about our form of address? First of all, we should pray to God the Father, and we pray in the name of Jesus. The Scripture is almost completely in perfect harmony that we pray to the Father, not to Jesus. And nowhere are we taught to pray to the Holy Spirit, or in the name of the Holy Spirit. (Just an aside: nor are we ever taught to worship the HS. We worship God and Jesus, but not the HS, but that's a different question.) Paul says the Holy Spirit will help us when we pray, but we don't pray TO Him.
Do we pray formally or casually? The prayers of the Bible are always formal, except that Jesus prayed (Mt. 6.9) "Our Father." To the disciples, the first words of the prayer must have been nothing short of scandalous. Of all the things they had ever learned about prayer, this was certainly not one of them. They were not even permitted to say the name of God aloud, let alone refer to him as “our Father.” Paul reinforces that same thought in Romans 8.15 (see also Mark 14.36; Gal. 4.6). "Abba" was a very comfortable, familiar word, like our "Daddy." It's a name of family familiarity. When you read some of the Psalms, David is very blunt with God, and almost seems to be yelling at him. These are all instructive about our prayers. They should always be done with respect, but they also need to be honest and should be "family comfortable". I think if you live in a healthy, stable home where you are taught to honor your parents, you understand perfectly. It can be both friendly and formal, both comfortable and respectful.
Are we supposed to speak, or mediate silently? Both are good, depending on what you are praying about. Sometimes silence and meditation are a great idea, and often speaking is great. Sometimes we worship, sometimes say thank you, sometimes meditate quietly, sometimes ask for things, sometimes talk about our day, and sometimes express our grievances. All have their place.
I know there is much more to be said, but I'll cut it off here, and as you have more questions about what I've said, or other things, just ask.
Others tell me it's supposed to be just casual and not worry about being grammatically correct, but then again I don't recall the people who prayed in the bible praying casually either. When I was little I was told that anytime I'm praying for forgiveness I need to say it out loud or it won't "count." C.S. Lewis in his book, The Screwtape Letters, Screwtape writes that the humans have stopped praying on bended knees thinking that it's all about the heart (and he said it as if it wasn't right to pray not on your knees).